Monday, June 22, 2009

You Know What Zombie Movie Hasn't Been Made Yet?

Or, Fund it.

Okay, so question: What about good zombies?

The dead have risen from their unquiet graves, and walk the Earth. Their bite is infectious, and soon the world is overrun by shambolic, abominable, hungry dead. They infest our suburbs, our shopping malls, our military bases.

In short, your typical everyday Zombie Apocalypse. So far, so good. But we've seen this a million times before. What about good zombies?

What if, on that horrible day, every soldier buried in Arlington National Cemetary rose from their grave... and formed up to defend the nation's capital from the ravening hordes? Zombie George Washington. Zombie U.S. Grant. Zombie William Tecumseh Sherman, commandeering a vintage Sherman Tank from the nearest war museum.

Zombie Robert E. Lee: "In life I fought for the Confederacy, but in death I fight for America!"

FUND IT.

5 comments:

  1. Great idea, dudes and ladies? Answer: Yes!

    I would much prefer to see my tax dollars going to helpful and protective zombie hordes, than to GM. (Arguably turning it into a car company zombie with an infectious bite that will zombify first the rest of the auto industry, then other bastions of capitalism, and eventually the world economy... it is possible that this has already happened?)

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  2. please ignore weirdly placed comma in first sentence of previous comment.

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  3. Ignored!

    Also, what amuses me (and by "amuses" I mean "bemuses") is that the money for this adventure is--as far as I can tell--from the future.

    That is, we're creating debt to support GM, in the hopes that in the future the economy will be strong enough to repay that debt and have a little left over for fun times.

    The irony would be if the future is actually full of zombies, and we brought the infection back from the future, which is why the future is full of zombies...

    Like that Black Sabbath song, "Iron Man". About a guy who witnesses a horrible apocalypse, a cataclysm so violent that he is cast back in time. Upon arrival, he is so disfigured that nobody can understand his message, but instead flee in terror from him. As a result, he becomes enraged, and unleashes upon the world the very cataclysm he was trying to warn about.

    Uh. Yeah.

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  4. Sweety's contribution: Oooo! Zombienomics!

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  5. Joe Dante directed an episode of Masters of Horror called "Homecoming" in which the bodies of Iraq soldiers are sent back to the US from Iraq rise up as zombies. Not to eat human flesh, however. They just want to vote out the Republicans.

    That's sort of "good zombies" returning to defend the country.

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